Happiness a skill

Happiness is a skill that can be learnt and practiced.

Happiness is the lack of an urge or desire to seek, grab, acquire and gather more. This desire drives us to go out in the world and act with a motive to achieve more. Now, where is this desire coming from? This comes from a feeling that we have deep within us, which tells us that we do not have enough and we need more. A simple example that will help us understand this fact better is our eating pattern. When do we eat or when do we have the desire to eat? The nature has built us in a way that makes us want to eat only when we are hungry. However, some of us may like to eat even when they are not hungry but because they are not able to resist the temptation to eat something which they are really fond of. But, generally speaking, if we feel that we are not hungry, then we dont have this urge to eat. Similarly, if we dont feel that we need something, then we will not run helter-skelter to get that thing, be it a bike, an iPhone, an expensive car, a plush house or anything else. Likewise, if we feel that we dont lack material wealth and we have enough, then probably we wont have this desire to go out and gather more material wealth or money. And if we dont feel that we need a new car or a new house, then we will not act to acquire them. This desire can still be there even if we can not afford them, but then we will keep on doing things that will make us capable to acquire them. On the other side, if we can afford them, then it is also possible that we dont have the desire to acquire them. This absence of desire is also called contentment. This means that we are contented with what we have and we do not crave for more. When we are in this state, we dont work with a mindset of profit and loss. We may still have to go out and work but then that work will be without the motive to make more money. In other words, the attention will not be on the outcome. So, the mind is fully focused on the work itself. Thus there is no projection of the future and we are totally in the present. This mind is fully relaxed and calm, concentrated and not distracted. This mind is happy.

A happy mind is also a mind that is free of worries. Worry is thinking of future outcomes, projecting scenarios, and being engrossed in calculations. Worry is also a result of fearing that something may go wrong, or some expected results may not be realized. These expectations also find their base on the desires that we want something to happen in a certain way. This again may result from a feeling of lack, that we think we are not complete, perfect and lack in certain aspects. Hence, we desire specific outcomes that may benefit us or help us in becoming complete, perfect and full. Sometimes we are worried about damage to our image, loss of wealth, health or near and dear ones. Thus, we work tirelessly to protect those.

An unhappy mind has the constant feeling of lack and thus the urge to do more, gather more, think more, worry more, acquire more and become complete one day. But the problem is that gathering more does not make us happy. For example, buying a new car may gives us happiness, but only for a brief period, only until when there is a new desire to get something else. In this brief period, the desire to get a new thing was missing and hence the mind was happy. This can be extrapolated and thus understood that if we don't have desire to own more, we can be happy, almost always.

Happiness is absence of craving. Craving can stop when we realize that we are full and there is absolutely nothing that is missing. Hence there is no going out, there is no grasping, gathering and wanting. When this happens then we are fully alive, available in the present moment with all of our senses.

So, the fundamental question that we need to ask ourselves is how do we produce this everlasting feeling that we are full already.

The answer somehow lies in developing the right understanding about ourselves. We need to lose the sense of the false self that we identify ourselves with and realize who we truly are. On a lighter note, identity crisis lies at the core of the problem.

As the upanishads proclaim and as the yogis know, our true identity is that of the consciousness. That is the true essence of our beings. Like the water is the true essence of the waves and clay is the true essence of the pots, consciousness is our true essence. And consciousness is full, whole, complete, self-sufficient, perfect and infinite, because it is the source from which the entire world has sprung forth. Its only that the manifested form has forgotten its true identity, like the wave does not remember that it is water, but that does not change the reality any bit. We too have forgotten our identities. We identify ourselves with our bodies, thoughts, emotions, ideas, feelings, beliefs, etc. We have concepts and ideas about who we are, such as we are beautiful or ugly, smart or foolish, tall or short, fat or slim, intelligent or dumb, fast or slow, rich or poor, good or bad, efficient or inefficient, etc. These ideas that we have about ourselves form the "false" self that we identify ourselves with. These are false because these ideas have been acquired and were not present when we were born. We gather this through living and interacting with the world. This is what the society has told us about ourselves and we attach these labels to our self and that's how we identify or define ourselves as. But if these were our true identity, then these would have existed even at the time of our birth. But that is not the case. We build this image about ourselves as we grow up through the conditioning of the environments and the company of people we grow in. And because of this, we believe that we are limited in our abilities and we are always incomplete, hence we need to make this complete.

Most of what we do or acquire is to validate, reinforce or strengthen this image that others have about ourselves, thus increasing our self worth or worth of the false self. So, in a way it is the status game that most of us are playing. But only when this veil is lifted, we start seeing the reflection of the true self. Then the seeking and grasping starts gradually to stop.

The big question now is how do we realize the upanishadik truth ourselves. Upanishads want us to realize this truth by developing the right knowledge through study of the self. It says that only the sword of knowledge can pierce through the veil of ignorance. It also says that the knowledge of the self is the only higher knowledge that is worth pursuing. Rest everything is of the world and is lower knowledge. Study of the self to gain the knowledge of the self is not an easy task, because for this we need all of our senses, mind, intellect and all our faculties to operate at the highest level. This means that we need to put our one-pointed attention on to this subject and then it may be possible to know this. This requires that we free our mind and attention from the thousand distractions that we are engaged in, day and night. In other words, the mind needs to be fully still and alert if we have to understand this. Yoga is a way to train our mind and bring it to this state, which would be like setting up the tarmac from which the flight of our search can take off in the skies of this higher knowledge. This is also called "nivritti" marga, which means looking within, as opposed to our usual pravritti marga, which is looking outside. All this while we have looked outside but could not find the true happiness. So, logically, if the looking outside failed, then we should also try looking in and see if this works.

We should try to observe things of this world and we can develop the right understanding. If we start looking at things, actually, the way they are, and not the way we think they are. There is a difference in the two. We always color reality with our own opinions and beliefs and thus we are never able to see the reality the way it is. Right observation will reveal the true nature of the world and all its objects, which is fleeting, transient and impermanent. Our bodies also take birth, grow, decay and then die. But we are so attached to this body that it becomes the reason for our sorrows and sufferings. What we acquire with hard work and deep labour can be lost in a flash. Things and people come to us and then depart. This is the nature of this world. If we know this, then we would understand that our things and relationships are also temporary. We can lose them any time. Forget about all these, even we can die any moment. With this understanding, how we can think that we are here forever and our cars, houses and bank balances are forever! Upanishads call this world "jagat", which means to be on constant move.

The good news is that there is a still non-changing, everlasting substratum behind the constantly moving and everchanging world. This is the source of all the matter and the material universe. We are also made of the same stuff. Thus the world as well as we are made of the same stuff, which always is. Which was when there was no manifested world and it will be when there will be no manifested world. This is consciousness, the "brahmn" as the vedantic or upanishadic texts call it, which is also known as "purusha" in samkhya or yoga. We can also realize this by going within and in a deep meditative state. When we start reducing everything that we know ourselves to be, e.g. the body, senses, mind, intellect, emotions, our beliefs and everything else, we come to a point where we can reduce no more. Then what remains at that stage is our true essence, the consciousness. If we close our eyes, we are not able to see the outer world as well as our bodies. If we continue in this state, after some time, we see thoughts coming and going. Slowly we start noticing the gap between two consecutive thoughts. Thus we come to realize that we are not our thoughts too. Like thoughts, our emotions also come and go, like anger, fear, etc. but there is some one that witnesses all these appearing and disappearing and it remains even during the gaps. We can call it consciousness, which is the last layer which we can not reduce. This is the same witness that remains during our waking, sleep and dream states. During deep sleep, we are not conscious of our own existence but when we come out of deep sleep, we know that we had a good sleep. This means that there was a witness who was aware of our deep sleep. This is the consciousness which the upanishads call "sat-chit-ananda". Sat means that it always is and it is not born nor will it die. Chit means that it is pure consciousness or awareness. Ananda means that its true essence is of bliss. Adi Shankra said "chidananda rupah shivoham shivoham" which means that I am pure consciousness shivam.

If we are eager to realize this truth, then we will definitely be able to realize this. And once we realize this, then what objects will we desire of anymore! And then we will permanently be happy. However, it does not mean that we will not have to do our work. We will still need to do our work but we will be doing it happily.